Business Letters…Before and After

The Wimpy (Before) Letter:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Stewart:

I appreciate the opportunity to provide you with information about my company. We believe you will find us to be professional, motivated and results-oriented, as our other clients have.

If you choose to work with me, the selling price of your home will be assessed and a marketing plan will be created to attract the right buyer. With more than 15 years of experience I can provide excellent service and a quick sale. Per our conversation, enclosed please find a brochure in which my qualifications are outlined. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call.

Sincerely,

Sandra Meyer

ACME Real Estate

The Supercharged (After) Letter:

Dear Brandon and Katie,

It was great meeting you at the soccer game, and I enjoyed our conversation. I’m very interested in helping you sell your house. In fact, I already have some ideas for making the most of its curb appeal. I’ve recently sold two houses in your neighborhood, so I can help you price your home to sell quickly without leaving money on the table. My goal is to make the whole process really easy for you.

Want to know more? Check out my website at SandraSells.com. I’ve also enclosed some info that explains why I believe I’m a good fit for your needs:

•  I have 15+ years of experience selling homes in Decatur.

•  I sold 18 homes last year (many at or above asking price).

•  My connections in the community help me find just the right buyer.

My website is full of testimonials from clients who have been happy with my services. I promise to work as hard for you as I have for them. I’d love to talk more with you about your home sale. You can reach me anytime on my cell at 404-378-0081.

At your service,

Sandra Meyer

ACME Real Estate

Also check out the articles Writing with Impact and Business Writing that Works